Greetings from Manhattan and Boston! There's been a bit of a hiatus from blogging, and I apologize for the conspicuous (or was it?) absence. I'll blame it on the recent rush of activity in my normally "well-scheduled" life. Who loves excuses?! Anyways, down to business. While I have been, and hopefully will continue, to do my best to keep this blog unisex focused, today's post will be centered around some thoughts on females and their various contributions to modern day society. Ooh, light and airy!
First and foremost, hooray for Argentina's first female President! Congratulations to Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, the uh... former? first lady of Argentina. Apparently, that's South America's second female president in two years following behind Chile's Michelle Bachelet. I'll outright say that I don't know anything about South America, but at least in this regard it's fabulous to see the progressive changes that are being made there. Though there are some hanging questions about Ballot distribution which trouble me, it is quite heartening to know that women are pushing boundaries out in the world. Whether she is a capable leader has yet to be seen, but she definitely seems to recognize the burden that is resting upon her shoulders now.
"Kirchner declared victory late Sunday. In a speech, she said she felt not only a responsibility to lead her country, but 'an immense responsibility for my gender.'"
These first few women who are stepping into the Presidency are going to, as my favorite US AS History teacher used to say, lay the groundwork for paradigms of any women to follow. They will be judged harshly if they fail, and while I would love to believe in fair reporting, I would venture a guess that their accomplishments will only be lauded a fraction as much as a male President's accomplishments would be. Even the IHT article itself, while "fair reporting," smacked a bit of jabbing implications that Kirchner had won the elections both riding on the coat tails of her husband and with ulterior motives besides improving Argentina's foreign policy. The BBC article on key election concerns does help shed some light on the issue, but that article falls distinctly on the disparaging side as well. The least biased, or perhaps biased in the direction I prefer, article that I've found is this Q&A from MWC News. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm pre-disposed to looking for positive presentations of women in the media (duh?) but having seen the way Hillary has been portrayed in the American press I'm hesitant to believe that other women will be given neutral reviews. Then again, the nature of the press is such that there is no such thing as "neutral."
Before anyone asks about my personal beliefs on Hillary, I'll say that I'm glad she's trying for the Presidency. No matter how you slice it, that post is an incredible opportunity and burden not only for her as an American, but also as a woman. I've kept some tabs on her policies, and while I haven't chosen a candidate that I solely support, I hate to admit the lurking feelings of allegiance towards her for being a woman and, to be honest, for being an alumna of my alma mater. She has some good ideas, and if they were put into practice I'd like to believe that they would be functional and perform their purpose. But, I'm not a politics type of a person so these are just my uneducated two cents.
In other news on women to admire, the recent break about Dumbledore's sexual orientation has caused quite the stir. Suddenly, the story about the boy who lived became completely focused on the boy being led (misled?) by a man with questionable interests. Now, I'd like to pause for a second and say that realistically no one in the world is entirely altruistic, so there will always be "questionable interests." Furthermore, Rowling never tried to refute or paint Dumbledore in a light that would show him as infallible or that he wasn't trying to use Harry as a tool in many ways. Essentially, I don't see how his sexual orientation can suddenly alter the entire universe that she has created, and at least Edward Rothstein from the nytimes seems to agree with me.
On an individual note about Rowling, I will commend her again for the entire HP series. Much though everyone picks at the books, and tries to lambast the characters and plot, I am really in awe of what she has created. As an artist/writer, she did what politicians all over the world and human rights activists have been trying to do for decades. She got people to care about something. Whoever you are, wherever you were, if you were somewhat in touch with any type of current events or media you probably knew about Harry Potter and you were probably at the very least curious about the outcome of his life. She spanned socioeconomic divides and brought together an entire world by showing them our world using magic. That sounds hokey, I know, but all Rowling really did was present modern day society and the problems we face through the lens of the fantastic, mythic, and intangible. It disgusts me the way people rip into how successful HP has become and complain that she only wrote the stories to make money. I could be wrong, but as a writer you never know how well your work will be received so I doubt she was banking on her success. Not to mention, as an author, publishing is not the most lucrative industry to become involved in anyways.
Anyways, many nods and acknowledgments to both women mentioned here for their impressive accomplishments. I'll take my feminism onto the streets of Cambridge/Boston now. Surprisingly the foliage hasn't hit yet, but perhaps I'll have some photos to post for everyone's enjoyment later.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
C'est Possible?
Apologies for I have been remiss in posting in the last few days. Though I would love to bring you all an enjoyable article of some kind, I haven't had the opportunity to dig up something fresh and fun.
Instead of an article, I'll venture into as of yet untouched territory, and give you a tiny sketch I've been ruminating on. It's not much, but I suppose it's a step in the "right" direction.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
She woke without fail each night at 1 a.m. Her eyes would slowly flutter open to her husband's low, steady snore echoing through the room, and as he droned on Ellen would drop her legs to the floor and gently extract herself from the familiar nook on the bed. She would stealthily plod her way out the door, down the carpeted hallway, past the room where her sons clutched their flashlights and books beneath the sheets, and find her way into the kitchen. From the cupboard beneath the sink, she would draw out a small rusty-hinged lacquered box and place it on the kitchen counter. Ellen was always careful not to let out a sigh, or even a harsh breath, as she had once let out a cry into the darkened house that caused her husband to rush down the stairs.
Instead, she would keep her lips pursed while she mechanically opened the box's lid and removed a half burned candle and a small Bic lighter, leaving the photograph behind. Ellen would adeptly flick the lighter twice: once for her, and once for him, then touch the flame to the candle's wick. As the light would crawl its way across the counter, Ellen's lips would relax and the familiar calm of a moment reserved just for her and the photograph lying within the box embraced her. For fifteen minutes after the second flick of the lighter, Ellen would stand at the counter's edge in her worn cotton nightgown, her hand placed palm down atop the box.
At 1:18am, she would puff out the candle and deftly place it back in the box next to the lighter and photograph. Then, as quietly and surely as a thick fog rolls over the hills, she would reverse each step until she found herself nestled into her nook, eyelids closing to the gentle rumble of her husband's snore.
------------------
Hmm, ah well. It will have to do for now.
Instead of an article, I'll venture into as of yet untouched territory, and give you a tiny sketch I've been ruminating on. It's not much, but I suppose it's a step in the "right" direction.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
She woke without fail each night at 1 a.m. Her eyes would slowly flutter open to her husband's low, steady snore echoing through the room, and as he droned on Ellen would drop her legs to the floor and gently extract herself from the familiar nook on the bed. She would stealthily plod her way out the door, down the carpeted hallway, past the room where her sons clutched their flashlights and books beneath the sheets, and find her way into the kitchen. From the cupboard beneath the sink, she would draw out a small rusty-hinged lacquered box and place it on the kitchen counter. Ellen was always careful not to let out a sigh, or even a harsh breath, as she had once let out a cry into the darkened house that caused her husband to rush down the stairs.
Instead, she would keep her lips pursed while she mechanically opened the box's lid and removed a half burned candle and a small Bic lighter, leaving the photograph behind. Ellen would adeptly flick the lighter twice: once for her, and once for him, then touch the flame to the candle's wick. As the light would crawl its way across the counter, Ellen's lips would relax and the familiar calm of a moment reserved just for her and the photograph lying within the box embraced her. For fifteen minutes after the second flick of the lighter, Ellen would stand at the counter's edge in her worn cotton nightgown, her hand placed palm down atop the box.
At 1:18am, she would puff out the candle and deftly place it back in the box next to the lighter and photograph. Then, as quietly and surely as a thick fog rolls over the hills, she would reverse each step until she found herself nestled into her nook, eyelids closing to the gentle rumble of her husband's snore.
------------------
Hmm, ah well. It will have to do for now.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Many Thanks
To everyone who was super supportive and helpful yesterday on short notice. Hopefully one day you can all be attributed with aiding in jump-starting my career. Or, if I fail miserably (which, realistically, I won't let happen) then I will blame and shamelessly slander all of you. Just kidding!
In order of appearance: Plee, Calveewo, Behzies, Big Bro, Mr. Spit, D-Ha, Jay Frizzle, and big ups to Momma for her fabulous addition with, "that sounds great! Oh. You guys have been eating bananas, that's good."
I love my Mother, she has such incredible timing.
Short entry for today, as it is jam-packed and action filled with activities. Mr. Spit informed me yesterday, much to my dismay, that they have potentially found the true function for the appendix. I thought, or perhaps hoped, that he was joking. But alas, upon further research, there have indeed been some findings. Theories, for now, that it works as a store house for good bacteria which are used to reboot your digestive system following encounters with dysentery, cholera, or other such bacteria purging diseases. How fitting for scientists to find a use so soon after I parted ways with my own little "vestigial" friend.
Also, check out the youtube posting in the entry directly following this one. It's Sony Bravia's newest commercial. I <3 their creativity. They also did the bouncy ball commercial where a ludicrous number of bouncy balls are sent bouncing and/or rolling down the hills of San Francisco. Their newest endeavor involves some incredible clay-mation. Apparently 3 weeks, 40 animators and 2.5 tonnes of modeling clay produces adorable bunnies, a plethora of color and one brilliantly artistic minute thirty. (Thanks to cuzzo-who-shall-not-be-named-ever for the heads up.) Enjoy!
In order of appearance: Plee, Calveewo, Behzies, Big Bro, Mr. Spit, D-Ha, Jay Frizzle, and big ups to Momma for her fabulous addition with, "that sounds great! Oh. You guys have been eating bananas, that's good."
I love my Mother, she has such incredible timing.
Short entry for today, as it is jam-packed and action filled with activities. Mr. Spit informed me yesterday, much to my dismay, that they have potentially found the true function for the appendix. I thought, or perhaps hoped, that he was joking. But alas, upon further research, there have indeed been some findings. Theories, for now, that it works as a store house for good bacteria which are used to reboot your digestive system following encounters with dysentery, cholera, or other such bacteria purging diseases. How fitting for scientists to find a use so soon after I parted ways with my own little "vestigial" friend.
Also, check out the youtube posting in the entry directly following this one. It's Sony Bravia's newest commercial. I <3 their creativity. They also did the bouncy ball commercial where a ludicrous number of bouncy balls are sent bouncing and/or rolling down the hills of San Francisco. Their newest endeavor involves some incredible clay-mation. Apparently 3 weeks, 40 animators and 2.5 tonnes of modeling clay produces adorable bunnies, a plethora of color and one brilliantly artistic minute thirty. (Thanks to cuzzo-who-shall-not-be-named-ever for the heads up.) Enjoy!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Early Mornings
Sometimes I wonder if I'm secretly a morning person masking as a late night person. I made the transition senior year to being a morning person. But, have since returned to my night-owl ways. However, there was surprising satisfaction for me in sipping a warm cup of tea, munching on a scone, and conversing with friends as I let the day begin. Maybe this means I'm going to like waking up early and going to work? Probably not, but one can hope.
This morning I bring you a little three-course meal of articles. All of which can be enjoyed and pondered somewhat seriously.
Appetizer: Apparently researchers have found that it's actually possible to die from heartbreak. At least that's how this article is portraying it. Really, though, all it's saying is that close negative relationships (even friendships) can cause major stress on your heart and up your chances by 34% for chest pain or a heart attack.
"'If you have good people around it is good for your health, ... If you have negative people around it is much worse for your health.'"
Just in case you guys weren't sure that negative influences aren't fun. Haha.
Main: So, if Gen-X is pushing 30 now, what the heck are we? Ask Thomas Friedman, an Op-Ed contributor for the NYtimes, and he'll say that 20-somethings are Generation Q, a generation of Quiet Americans. Friedman discusses his recent visits to college campuses around the country, and reflects on what he sees as the general mentality of our generation. Curious? Three ideas, friends: optimism, idealism, and political apathy. I'd have to agree with Friedman and say that he is spot on. If I am representative of the happy medium of our generation, I do indeed embody each of those ideas. While we may be really doing something through our commitment to relief causes, we're not nearly active enough about being heard. Anyone else miffed that Social Security is basically a moot point for us? Even now, I'm sitting here blogging to you as opposed to picking up a mic at some rally and making my voice heard. Maybe Berkeley's tree-sitters were leading the way. At least they stand up for something that isn't only a cause on Facebook.
Dessert: Just in case anyone was wondering, I will only marry a man who makes at least half a million a year. I'm not remotely serious in saying that, but there was a woman on Craigslist who actually was. Subsequently, one of these potential Wall Street half-mil hubbies answered her query by stating that her offer as a currently bombshell gold-digger, as compared to his ever growing stock portfolio, was "plain and simple a crappy business deal." This was an article on the posts, but if anyone is interested I can put the actual postings up here as I have them in my inbox somewhere. Here's an excerpt from Mr. Wall Street that I particularly enjoyed:
"Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful'
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation."
Hah. Eat that, woman who's giving my gender a bad name! And, isn't that such an interesting thought? Doing something myself to make money and pursuing my own career. Oh my gosh! It's almost as though I had a brain just like men! If she were really as smart as she claims, wouldn't she have figured out how to get one of those earning asset husbands already? Ok, ok, the snark ends there. But, I do have a particular revulsion for women like that. And, similarly, men who are so insecure that when faced with a woman's intelligence and skill, they recess into a tiny shell of misogyny to hide the fact that they're incompetent. Hrm, tastes like bitter man-hater talk to me. Just had to put that out there though.
I guess my dessert comes out just like I seem to appear in candy form. A la dark chocolate, a little bitter kick at the end. (Thanks to Holla and Nigerian Prince for defining my candy form, by the way.) But, regardless, hopefully you guys found the meal enjoyable.
And now, to find myself some coffee.
This morning I bring you a little three-course meal of articles. All of which can be enjoyed and pondered somewhat seriously.
Appetizer: Apparently researchers have found that it's actually possible to die from heartbreak. At least that's how this article is portraying it. Really, though, all it's saying is that close negative relationships (even friendships) can cause major stress on your heart and up your chances by 34% for chest pain or a heart attack.
"'If you have good people around it is good for your health, ... If you have negative people around it is much worse for your health.'"
Just in case you guys weren't sure that negative influences aren't fun. Haha.
Main: So, if Gen-X is pushing 30 now, what the heck are we? Ask Thomas Friedman, an Op-Ed contributor for the NYtimes, and he'll say that 20-somethings are Generation Q, a generation of Quiet Americans. Friedman discusses his recent visits to college campuses around the country, and reflects on what he sees as the general mentality of our generation. Curious? Three ideas, friends: optimism, idealism, and political apathy. I'd have to agree with Friedman and say that he is spot on. If I am representative of the happy medium of our generation, I do indeed embody each of those ideas. While we may be really doing something through our commitment to relief causes, we're not nearly active enough about being heard. Anyone else miffed that Social Security is basically a moot point for us? Even now, I'm sitting here blogging to you as opposed to picking up a mic at some rally and making my voice heard. Maybe Berkeley's tree-sitters were leading the way. At least they stand up for something that isn't only a cause on Facebook.
Dessert: Just in case anyone was wondering, I will only marry a man who makes at least half a million a year. I'm not remotely serious in saying that, but there was a woman on Craigslist who actually was. Subsequently, one of these potential Wall Street half-mil hubbies answered her query by stating that her offer as a currently bombshell gold-digger, as compared to his ever growing stock portfolio, was "plain and simple a crappy business deal." This was an article on the posts, but if anyone is interested I can put the actual postings up here as I have them in my inbox somewhere. Here's an excerpt from Mr. Wall Street that I particularly enjoyed:
"Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful'
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation."
Hah. Eat that, woman who's giving my gender a bad name! And, isn't that such an interesting thought? Doing something myself to make money and pursuing my own career. Oh my gosh! It's almost as though I had a brain just like men! If she were really as smart as she claims, wouldn't she have figured out how to get one of those earning asset husbands already? Ok, ok, the snark ends there. But, I do have a particular revulsion for women like that. And, similarly, men who are so insecure that when faced with a woman's intelligence and skill, they recess into a tiny shell of misogyny to hide the fact that they're incompetent. Hrm, tastes like bitter man-hater talk to me. Just had to put that out there though.
I guess my dessert comes out just like I seem to appear in candy form. A la dark chocolate, a little bitter kick at the end. (Thanks to Holla and Nigerian Prince for defining my candy form, by the way.) But, regardless, hopefully you guys found the meal enjoyable.
And now, to find myself some coffee.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
. : simple little stuff : .
Today is a day of simple pleasures. Perhaps this is my attempt at remaining "zen" as my curious away message stated yesterday, but indulging in the little stuff has been incredibly satisfying for some reason.
Here's my list of little stuff that kept bouncy and smiling. Hopefully at least one thing on here makes you smile too:
1. Good Music -- Feist is fabulous. She has such a laid back jazzy sound that is just so conducive to the fall weather that's beginning to settle over the Bay Area. Both albums, The Reminder and Let It Die have kept me pleasantly relaxed and calm. So far she's been accompanying me while I write/read/work and not while I drive, but I have a feeling she'll be good in any setting. (Thanks to D-Ha for the albums). Also, I need to get my hands on some French Jazz, because Feist's "L'amour Ne Dure Pas Toujours" or Love Does Not Last Forever makes me miss French terribly and remember why I always thought it sounded prettier than English.
2. Postsecret -- This blog, which I will perma-link on my sidebar from now on, appeals to my emo-artsy side. People from all over the world send homemade postcards to this guy in Maryland with an anonymous admission of some secret. The postcards are very creative, and all convey some idea that people don't feel comfortable saying out loud or confronting. Not to say that I think people shouldn't confront their problems, but I suppose in some way this allows them to do that, and if you feel this helps you then that makes me smile. This postcard isn't my favorite, but if I posted the ones I felt most deeply, I'd be revealing some secrets about myself now wouldn't I?
3. Fun New Gadgets -- in the form of new headphones and a cordless optical mouse. Since Big Bro has mysteriously misplaced my old mouse, I was forced to purchase a new one. I promptly felt dated and out of it when I realized that cordless mice are now the way to go. Apparently I'm 5 years behind in mice technology, since I actually asked if there was any lag time. The last time I hung out with someone who used a cordless mouse (because, surprisingly enough in college most people I know only used regular mice) they were brand new, jumpy, and had lag. Silly, outdated, fuddy-duddy See, cordless mice don't have any of those problems now.
4. Cafés - In particular, Douce France in Palo Alto. Some really delectable panini-like sandwiches, cute little pastries (heart-shaped cookies with strawberry filling!) and damn good coffee. If you're a Proscuitto fan like myself, I recommend the Angelo sandwich. I get cravings for this place all the time. Good thing I make a point to go there once a week. Oh, it also reminds me a little bit of Panaficio with how homey and comfortable it is. Add to that the free wireless internet they have and begin rejoicing, if you're an Internet junky like myself who enjoys good food.
5. Laughing with friends and family. Laughing makes people happy, laugh more, it's good stuff.
Ok, that last one was "hokey" as Big Bro puts it. My excuse for today is being rushed. Got to scamper off and run errands, so unfortunately this entry was cut short.
Quickly, though, in response to Mr. Tim and Mr. Maietta's comments on yesterday's post, yes, heart disease is a big deal. Thank you, both, for expounding on the benefits of alcohol to my heart even if it may slightly raise my chances of getting breast cancer. You have ensured that I will enjoy a life of intoxication and inebriation. Justtt kidding. Ha. But seriously, check out their comments on yesterday's post as both included good information about heart disease and the benefits of alcohol.
Here's my list of little stuff that kept bouncy and smiling. Hopefully at least one thing on here makes you smile too:
1. Good Music -- Feist is fabulous. She has such a laid back jazzy sound that is just so conducive to the fall weather that's beginning to settle over the Bay Area. Both albums, The Reminder and Let It Die have kept me pleasantly relaxed and calm. So far she's been accompanying me while I write/read/work and not while I drive, but I have a feeling she'll be good in any setting. (Thanks to D-Ha for the albums). Also, I need to get my hands on some French Jazz, because Feist's "L'amour Ne Dure Pas Toujours" or Love Does Not Last Forever makes me miss French terribly and remember why I always thought it sounded prettier than English.
2. Postsecret -- This blog, which I will perma-link on my sidebar from now on, appeals to my emo-artsy side. People from all over the world send homemade postcards to this guy in Maryland with an anonymous admission of some secret. The postcards are very creative, and all convey some idea that people don't feel comfortable saying out loud or confronting. Not to say that I think people shouldn't confront their problems, but I suppose in some way this allows them to do that, and if you feel this helps you then that makes me smile. This postcard isn't my favorite, but if I posted the ones I felt most deeply, I'd be revealing some secrets about myself now wouldn't I?3. Fun New Gadgets -- in the form of new headphones and a cordless optical mouse. Since Big Bro has mysteriously misplaced my old mouse, I was forced to purchase a new one. I promptly felt dated and out of it when I realized that cordless mice are now the way to go. Apparently I'm 5 years behind in mice technology, since I actually asked if there was any lag time. The last time I hung out with someone who used a cordless mouse (because, surprisingly enough in college most people I know only used regular mice) they were brand new, jumpy, and had lag. Silly, outdated, fuddy-duddy See, cordless mice don't have any of those problems now.
4. Cafés - In particular, Douce France in Palo Alto. Some really delectable panini-like sandwiches, cute little pastries (heart-shaped cookies with strawberry filling!) and damn good coffee. If you're a Proscuitto fan like myself, I recommend the Angelo sandwich. I get cravings for this place all the time. Good thing I make a point to go there once a week. Oh, it also reminds me a little bit of Panaficio with how homey and comfortable it is. Add to that the free wireless internet they have and begin rejoicing, if you're an Internet junky like myself who enjoys good food.
5. Laughing with friends and family. Laughing makes people happy, laugh more, it's good stuff.
Ok, that last one was "hokey" as Big Bro puts it. My excuse for today is being rushed. Got to scamper off and run errands, so unfortunately this entry was cut short.
Quickly, though, in response to Mr. Tim and Mr. Maietta's comments on yesterday's post, yes, heart disease is a big deal. Thank you, both, for expounding on the benefits of alcohol to my heart even if it may slightly raise my chances of getting breast cancer. You have ensured that I will enjoy a life of intoxication and inebriation. Justtt kidding. Ha. But seriously, check out their comments on yesterday's post as both included good information about heart disease and the benefits of alcohol.
Monday, October 8, 2007
A Little Info
For women, and I guess anyone who is interested, a new study on Breast Cancer.
Alcohol, an issue of contention as always, has apparently been linked to increases in breast cancer. So, ladies, 1-2 drinks a day raises your chances of getting breast cancer by 10%. 3 drinks or more a day seems to raise your chances by 30%. My favorite tidbit of info was a bit of a kick in the ovaries for me:
"Any alcohol consumption will raise your breast cancer risk," Key said. "Women don't have to abstain from alcohol entirely, but they need to be aware of the risks they're taking when they have a few too many drinks."
We're talking any type of alcohol, as in drinking wine because you think it's better for your heart is total huey since it doesn't matter what you consume. As long as it has alcoholic content, it's messing with you.
Now, granted I don't drink alcohol everyday, but this article still does scare me. As if losing an appendix weren't indication enough that my body isn't happy, I'd say it's probably a good idea for me to reconsider my behavior when I'm out. Yuck. Everything gives you cancer these days.
And, for more more random information that serves no larger purpose in your life, I bring you Fortune Cookie Drama.
Funny enough, at the SF Asian American Film Festival during the spring I watched a short about a fortune cookie company (apparently not written or directed by anyone asian). The plot being that a guy was going through a crappy break up with his girlfriend and started writing some nasty fortunes for his father's fortune cookie company. Et voila! Art reflects reality reflects art? Although, supposedly none of the writers are unhappy, they're just writing more "cautious" fortunes as opposed to the saccharine ones that we're all used to. "You are a brilliant snowflake. No one is like you in the whollleee world."
You are not a snowflake, wait, I am not a snowflake? But, I doubt I'd be too happy if I got "Today is a disastrous day. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em." Then again, there are some people I would wish a jaded fortune cookie on so they'd stop being so ridiculously whimsical about everything. Hrm, perhaps I should send Wonton Food a little note thanking them for giving everyone a little dose of reality.
Alcohol, an issue of contention as always, has apparently been linked to increases in breast cancer. So, ladies, 1-2 drinks a day raises your chances of getting breast cancer by 10%. 3 drinks or more a day seems to raise your chances by 30%. My favorite tidbit of info was a bit of a kick in the ovaries for me:
"Any alcohol consumption will raise your breast cancer risk," Key said. "Women don't have to abstain from alcohol entirely, but they need to be aware of the risks they're taking when they have a few too many drinks."
We're talking any type of alcohol, as in drinking wine because you think it's better for your heart is total huey since it doesn't matter what you consume. As long as it has alcoholic content, it's messing with you.
Now, granted I don't drink alcohol everyday, but this article still does scare me. As if losing an appendix weren't indication enough that my body isn't happy, I'd say it's probably a good idea for me to reconsider my behavior when I'm out. Yuck. Everything gives you cancer these days.
And, for more more random information that serves no larger purpose in your life, I bring you Fortune Cookie Drama.
Funny enough, at the SF Asian American Film Festival during the spring I watched a short about a fortune cookie company (apparently not written or directed by anyone asian). The plot being that a guy was going through a crappy break up with his girlfriend and started writing some nasty fortunes for his father's fortune cookie company. Et voila! Art reflects reality reflects art? Although, supposedly none of the writers are unhappy, they're just writing more "cautious" fortunes as opposed to the saccharine ones that we're all used to. "You are a brilliant snowflake. No one is like you in the whollleee world."
You are not a snowflake, wait, I am not a snowflake? But, I doubt I'd be too happy if I got "Today is a disastrous day. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em." Then again, there are some people I would wish a jaded fortune cookie on so they'd stop being so ridiculously whimsical about everything. Hrm, perhaps I should send Wonton Food a little note thanking them for giving everyone a little dose of reality.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Some Vapid Reflections
First, no reviews for blowfish this weekend, due to what we'll call "corporate issues" (read: D-ha stuck in office a slave to the job) thus there was no partaking of sushi and fun drinks. I will, however, say that if anyone is out in Palo Alto, or Los Gatos... I suppose Silicon Valley in general, there is something intriguing about that scene which I can't quite put my finger on. Most likely the fact that everyone there is quite young, way too wealthy, and just sucking up the good life like nobody's business as they ride the wave of their brilliance. The highlight of my escapades on University Ave was most definitely the fabulously quasi-Euro trash guy pushing thirty and rocking out on the dance floor ... with a sweatshirt tied around his hips. FYI to all guys who are nervous about their dancing skills: his enthusiasm totally outweighed anything about his appearance, because he was surrounded by a circle of at least six or seven girls. What a contrast to discuss this in a post immediately after the Congo, ugh, I believe this feeling is called "self-loathing."
Second, kicking myself into high gear so life can be brought into existence. You can wait around for life to happen, or you can make it happen. I think. I am 20-something See, hear me roar.
Third, when attempting to figure out your "life," good ways to drown your sorrows/keep you chugging along, are: Gossip Girl (that's my second plug and I can claim a couple converts so far), Mint Green Tea, pillows, and Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream. Mm, unhealthy sustenance. Crossing my fingers for one of the interim jobs to come through while I figure out the actual job.
Yeah, these posts are decidedly lame and poorly written. I guess even I function better during the "work" week.
Hah, all I want to do is sign off: xoxo, Gossip Girl. Some quick thoughts on that, it really is just that fun to watch. For those of you who enjoyed the OC, Josh Schwartz is a producer for the show and, I'm fairly certain, also a writer. Though the story lines are picked up from the novel series by Cecily von Ziegesar, Schwartz has done a great job of distilling plot points and showing well-rounded characters -- all while keeping his snark-tastic teens believably evil and warm-hearted. I'll definitely be disappointed if the show is canceled before it has a chance to blossom. It's also less bop-y than the OC, probably due to the story's placement in New York City. But, that could just be my slightly anti-socal mentality coming through. Oh, and also, for any Veronica Mars fans out there, the snidely witty voice of Gossip Girl is none other than Kristen Bell. She is so on with the timing, and phrasing, of her biting remarks. Keep an ear out for "fuster-cluck" in the second episode. At this point, the CW should really pay me for helping them out with their advertising.
Yikes. Let's hope that tomorrow's post is slightly more intelligent and, uh, substantial. Ugh.
Second, kicking myself into high gear so life can be brought into existence. You can wait around for life to happen, or you can make it happen. I think. I am 20-something See, hear me roar.
Third, when attempting to figure out your "life," good ways to drown your sorrows/keep you chugging along, are: Gossip Girl (that's my second plug and I can claim a couple converts so far), Mint Green Tea, pillows, and Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream. Mm, unhealthy sustenance. Crossing my fingers for one of the interim jobs to come through while I figure out the actual job.
Yeah, these posts are decidedly lame and poorly written. I guess even I function better during the "work" week.
Hah, all I want to do is sign off: xoxo, Gossip Girl. Some quick thoughts on that, it really is just that fun to watch. For those of you who enjoyed the OC, Josh Schwartz is a producer for the show and, I'm fairly certain, also a writer. Though the story lines are picked up from the novel series by Cecily von Ziegesar, Schwartz has done a great job of distilling plot points and showing well-rounded characters -- all while keeping his snark-tastic teens believably evil and warm-hearted. I'll definitely be disappointed if the show is canceled before it has a chance to blossom. It's also less bop-y than the OC, probably due to the story's placement in New York City. But, that could just be my slightly anti-socal mentality coming through. Oh, and also, for any Veronica Mars fans out there, the snidely witty voice of Gossip Girl is none other than Kristen Bell. She is so on with the timing, and phrasing, of her biting remarks. Keep an ear out for "fuster-cluck" in the second episode. At this point, the CW should really pay me for helping them out with their advertising.
Yikes. Let's hope that tomorrow's post is slightly more intelligent and, uh, substantial. Ugh.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Don't Complain; Work Harder
That's one of the ideas that Pausch talks about in his speech, and that's something I'm going to here. Not that I don't complain unnecessarily sometimes, if I didn't admit that it would be utter and complete hypocrisy, but I will say that there are some more difficult issues to be dealt with in the world than any of the stuff I come up with. This is called feeling like a chump for complaining when I really have a good deal, no matter how you slice it.
Yes, I went to a women's college, and yes I do have a tendency to focus on women's issues. This, however, is something that we should pay attention to for its own reasons. Much as I complain about guys disrespecting women, the Rape Epidemic in the Congo is in a class all its own.
"Honorata Barinjibanwa, an 18-year-old woman with high cheekbones and downcast eyes, said she was kidnapped from a village that the Rastas raided in April and kept as a sex slave until August. Most of that time she was tied to a tree, and she still has rope marks ringing her delicate neck. The men would untie her for a few hours each day to gang-rape her, she said.
It's funny, after keeping an eye out for an appropriate article which would spark desire in me to comment (nods to Mr. Spit), I am finding it so difficult to form full thoughts. Maybe I need an electric shock to the brain.
Yes, I went to a women's college, and yes I do have a tendency to focus on women's issues. This, however, is something that we should pay attention to for its own reasons. Much as I complain about guys disrespecting women, the Rape Epidemic in the Congo is in a class all its own.
"Honorata Barinjibanwa, an 18-year-old woman with high cheekbones and downcast eyes, said she was kidnapped from a village that the Rastas raided in April and kept as a sex slave until August. Most of that time she was tied to a tree, and she still has rope marks ringing her delicate neck. The men would untie her for a few hours each day to gang-rape her, she said.
“I’m weak, I’m angry, and I don’t know how to restart my life,” she said from Panzi Hospital in Bukavu, where she was taken after her captors freed her."
Please read the article. Even the next morning, I'm not even entirely clear on how to reflect on it. How about this: it terrifies me what human beings who have experienced trauma can inflict upon other people. Rape as a concept frightens me in a way that, strangely enough, makes me feel numb. Rape that involves foreign objects and completely destroys a woman's internal organs causes the emotional equivalent of a stomach flu. This is obviously not my most articulate post, which I attribute in part to the lack of sleep, but honestly part of it is that I just can't conjure any coherent thoughts. Reading that article made me want to cry.
It's funny, after keeping an eye out for an appropriate article which would spark desire in me to comment (nods to Mr. Spit), I am finding it so difficult to form full thoughts. Maybe I need an electric shock to the brain.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Guilty Pleasures
In the form of well-written, if not slightly smutty, CW television shows. I made a snarky reference in passing to Gossip Girl in my first post because I hadn't watched it, but had definitely heard a bit of the hype. Long story short, free iTunes downloads are fun and I gave Gossip Girl a chance.
And I was not disappointed. I'm sure I'm getting some scoffs right now. I will say that this show while pretty well-written is definitely of the Dawson's Creek variety.The so-called "prep-school kids" look like they were my classmates (and in fact the majority of them could have been being born between '85-'87) and talk like some of my friends at their wittiest. I hesitate to say this since I might just be enamored of the show because it's smutty and awesome, but I venture to say that the scripts are pretty engaging. I lose interest in shows quickly if they're not well-scripted, and I watched all three episodes of the show in two days. I'd say I'm involved.
I'll admit, though, that my interest might actually be due to the cat-fighting that the female leads do. Funny enough, I admire all of it. It's underhanded and backstabbing at its best, but so far hasn't devolved into transparent manipulation. Pre-meditated? Definitely. Outright bitchy? Of course. But happily it hasn't gotten to smarmy interactions (yet) where everyone tries to logically explain how the completely despicable course their about to take actually makes them a good person in God's eyes because of blah blah blah. One order of insta-vomit coming right up.
The characters are smart-ish. Well, the female leads are. They fight dirty and they're damn good at it. But they fight dirty in social settings where all you can do is smile and do your damndest to come up with halfway decent explanation and quickly exit. I love it because it's less on the teen angst where you sit around and whine, more on the "f you I'm going to do something about it."
Let me point this out before someone else does: I'm probably reliving college. Four months out and I'm already missing it. Painful though it was during, I'd be lying if I denied that fighting (or was that socializing?) with some of the smartest, wiliest, craziest, most backstabbing women in the country weren't some of the best years of my life. So, if you want to see how bad the fighting could get (because I did see it get close to that bad a few times) take a look at Gossip Girl. I guarantee that I'm not the only halfway intelligent person who finds it an incredibly satisfying guilty pleasure.
And I was not disappointed. I'm sure I'm getting some scoffs right now. I will say that this show while pretty well-written is definitely of the Dawson's Creek variety.The so-called "prep-school kids" look like they were my classmates (and in fact the majority of them could have been being born between '85-'87) and talk like some of my friends at their wittiest. I hesitate to say this since I might just be enamored of the show because it's smutty and awesome, but I venture to say that the scripts are pretty engaging. I lose interest in shows quickly if they're not well-scripted, and I watched all three episodes of the show in two days. I'd say I'm involved.
I'll admit, though, that my interest might actually be due to the cat-fighting that the female leads do. Funny enough, I admire all of it. It's underhanded and backstabbing at its best, but so far hasn't devolved into transparent manipulation. Pre-meditated? Definitely. Outright bitchy? Of course. But happily it hasn't gotten to smarmy interactions (yet) where everyone tries to logically explain how the completely despicable course their about to take actually makes them a good person in God's eyes because of blah blah blah. One order of insta-vomit coming right up.
The characters are smart-ish. Well, the female leads are. They fight dirty and they're damn good at it. But they fight dirty in social settings where all you can do is smile and do your damndest to come up with halfway decent explanation and quickly exit. I love it because it's less on the teen angst where you sit around and whine, more on the "f you I'm going to do something about it."
Let me point this out before someone else does: I'm probably reliving college. Four months out and I'm already missing it. Painful though it was during, I'd be lying if I denied that fighting (or was that socializing?) with some of the smartest, wiliest, craziest, most backstabbing women in the country weren't some of the best years of my life. So, if you want to see how bad the fighting could get (because I did see it get close to that bad a few times) take a look at Gossip Girl. I guarantee that I'm not the only halfway intelligent person who finds it an incredibly satisfying guilty pleasure.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Cha-ya
So, I figure since I'm still in San Francisco and enjoying all its culinary delights, I might as well throw up my own little restaurant reviews. If not for the general public (because, really, who stumbles onto this site and reads it? Currently, no one, but one day perhaps the WORLD haha) then at least for all of you guys. For those of you here in the bay, and in case anyone from back east (or elsewhere in the world) decides to visit San Francisco, then at least you can have some ideas not just from chowhound. (If you haven't frequented that site, you really should, it has great food recommendations for a good number of cities in the US.)
Rating system:
Boo -- I will not be trying this ever again.
Ehh -- I'd give it another go, if there's really nothing else.
Yay! -- Totally going to try this again.
So, Tuesday night I tried out Cha-ya on Valencia in the Mission with D-Ha (names have been changed to protect people's privacy). We actually stumbled upon this place since we were trying to go to Osha Thai (the Mission one) and both recognized the name, so opted to try this instead.
Cha-ya is Vegetarian Japanese Cuisine, so it's an ideal place for any PETA fans. The decor is very laidback, with a counter and stools running along the front window and something like 15-20 other tables in the restaurant, it's a moderately sized restaurant with a cozy environment. It reminded me a bit of Noodle Cafes in Hong Kong, but obviously cleaner than a lot of those. Since it's in the Mission, everyone I saw there was young and um... hip (I reserve my thoughts on this for another post), but it's obviously a very open environment because immediately upon sitting down a table had a birthday celebration, and the entire restaurant chimed in singing. Service is great, even though there was a bit of a wait to order, the waitress was very polite and anytime that we ever needed anything the response was prompt and well thought out. (Bringing extra spoons and dishes, sometimes without us even asking etc.)
D-Ha and I ordered:
Agedashi Tofu
Sunomono
Veggie Tempura with Hot Udon
Pear Compote (for dessert)
One Large Asahi Super Dry (from the bottle! Yay!)
1. Agedashi Tofu: I was a little less than satisfied with this, but I actually only ate this after it had been on the table for about 15 minutes. I'm used to having the little flakes (ingredient unknown) on top though, and there weren't any. D-Ha seemed to really enjoy it, though, after handling the initial issues of sufficiently dousing each piece of Tofu in sauce. Also, this comes out hot, so try not to shove a whole piece in your mouth like D-Ha did. Though, it will provide much entertainment to other people in your party, haha! (Rating: Ehh)
2. Sunomono: This was interesting, but nothing mind blowing. Cucumbers, radish, rice noodles, seaweed etc. The interesting additions, though, were roasted soybeans and raisins (!). Otherwise, heavy on the vinegar but light on other seasonings, and generally not tasty unless used as a palette cleanser. (Rating: Ehh)
3. Veggie Tempura with Hot Udon: I really enjoyed this. The broth was different than most I've tried, light and tasty (though, perhaps a bit salty -- D-Ha vehemently agrees), and the noodles were pretty al dente so I was happy about that. The tempura was well done, not too much batter, and the presentation as a little tee-pee of veggies was quite cute. I'd never had asparagus tempura, and I'll say that I don't think asparagus should be tempura-ized, but otherwise the squash, mushroom, carrots etc. were fabulouso. (Rating: Yay!)
4. Pear Compote: Yummy pear slightly submerged in vanilla soymilk topped with green tea sauce and some soybean granule type things on top. Served cold, this was super tasty. A nice healthy end to a good meal. The green tea sauce and soybean balls on top are totally the kicker. I advise against drinking the soymilk, unless you like unsweetened soymilk. (Rating: Yay!)
5. Asahi Super-Dry: duh. Came from the bottle. Kicked ass. (Rating: Yay!)
Anyways, this whole meal was all priced somewhat modestly at around $38.00, including tip! Also, they only accept Cash so don't be whippin' out your Visa, but they do have an ATM inside the restaurant for convenience. (2 dollar fees and all that... I had to use it.) We didn't get to try any of the sushi this time, but there are plans in the future to return and try out their other dishes. On the whole, Cha-Ya ranks a Yay! and I will be re-visiting them hopefully sometime soon. As a sidenote, I really enjoyed their dishware. It was cute and very apt to their vibe.
Keep an eye out for the other Chaya of Japanese/French fusion influence and Blowfish Sushi (coming this weekend!) which is known more for their drinks than their sushi... but hey, we'll see how that goes, I guess.
Rating system:
Boo -- I will not be trying this ever again.
Ehh -- I'd give it another go, if there's really nothing else.
Yay! -- Totally going to try this again.
So, Tuesday night I tried out Cha-ya on Valencia in the Mission with D-Ha (names have been changed to protect people's privacy). We actually stumbled upon this place since we were trying to go to Osha Thai (the Mission one) and both recognized the name, so opted to try this instead.
Cha-ya is Vegetarian Japanese Cuisine, so it's an ideal place for any PETA fans. The decor is very laidback, with a counter and stools running along the front window and something like 15-20 other tables in the restaurant, it's a moderately sized restaurant with a cozy environment. It reminded me a bit of Noodle Cafes in Hong Kong, but obviously cleaner than a lot of those. Since it's in the Mission, everyone I saw there was young and um... hip (I reserve my thoughts on this for another post), but it's obviously a very open environment because immediately upon sitting down a table had a birthday celebration, and the entire restaurant chimed in singing. Service is great, even though there was a bit of a wait to order, the waitress was very polite and anytime that we ever needed anything the response was prompt and well thought out. (Bringing extra spoons and dishes, sometimes without us even asking etc.)
D-Ha and I ordered:
Agedashi Tofu
Sunomono
Veggie Tempura with Hot Udon
Pear Compote (for dessert)
One Large Asahi Super Dry (from the bottle! Yay!)
1. Agedashi Tofu: I was a little less than satisfied with this, but I actually only ate this after it had been on the table for about 15 minutes. I'm used to having the little flakes (ingredient unknown) on top though, and there weren't any. D-Ha seemed to really enjoy it, though, after handling the initial issues of sufficiently dousing each piece of Tofu in sauce. Also, this comes out hot, so try not to shove a whole piece in your mouth like D-Ha did. Though, it will provide much entertainment to other people in your party, haha! (Rating: Ehh)
2. Sunomono: This was interesting, but nothing mind blowing. Cucumbers, radish, rice noodles, seaweed etc. The interesting additions, though, were roasted soybeans and raisins (!). Otherwise, heavy on the vinegar but light on other seasonings, and generally not tasty unless used as a palette cleanser. (Rating: Ehh)
3. Veggie Tempura with Hot Udon: I really enjoyed this. The broth was different than most I've tried, light and tasty (though, perhaps a bit salty -- D-Ha vehemently agrees), and the noodles were pretty al dente so I was happy about that. The tempura was well done, not too much batter, and the presentation as a little tee-pee of veggies was quite cute. I'd never had asparagus tempura, and I'll say that I don't think asparagus should be tempura-ized, but otherwise the squash, mushroom, carrots etc. were fabulouso. (Rating: Yay!)
4. Pear Compote: Yummy pear slightly submerged in vanilla soymilk topped with green tea sauce and some soybean granule type things on top. Served cold, this was super tasty. A nice healthy end to a good meal. The green tea sauce and soybean balls on top are totally the kicker. I advise against drinking the soymilk, unless you like unsweetened soymilk. (Rating: Yay!)
5. Asahi Super-Dry: duh. Came from the bottle. Kicked ass. (Rating: Yay!)
Anyways, this whole meal was all priced somewhat modestly at around $38.00, including tip! Also, they only accept Cash so don't be whippin' out your Visa, but they do have an ATM inside the restaurant for convenience. (2 dollar fees and all that... I had to use it.) We didn't get to try any of the sushi this time, but there are plans in the future to return and try out their other dishes. On the whole, Cha-Ya ranks a Yay! and I will be re-visiting them hopefully sometime soon. As a sidenote, I really enjoyed their dishware. It was cute and very apt to their vibe.
Keep an eye out for the other Chaya of Japanese/French fusion influence and Blowfish Sushi (coming this weekend!) which is known more for their drinks than their sushi... but hey, we'll see how that goes, I guess.
Lake of Fire
The new documentary by the director of American History X, Tony Kaye, apparently opened today in Manhattan. His topic of choice? Abortion. But this isn't your run of the mill documentary, it's done in black and white and the research period for it is nothing to sniff at.
After 16 years of research for this film, it's finally coming out in all its bombastic glory. Or maybe bombastic isn't the right word. From the review in the nytimes (my baby newspaper -- "you should just jack your head into the nytimes," thanks, big brother) it's apparently an incredibly graphic and gruesome (aka potentially realistic?) portrayal of abortion. The critic who reviewed the movie seemed to think that you were supposed to gauge Kaye's personal views on the issue based on how he juxtaposed images, sounds and concepts. I was about to rip into that and say that maybe he wasn't trying to convey a view, but I suppose I really shouldn't since I sit around analyzing texts all the time and purporting to understand the author's "intentions" for their audience through a scene of dialogue. Yay hypocrisy! Regardless, since the film seems to be interview based I am very curious to see how this will be spun, since splicing interviews and people's commentaries can be very touchy.
And as for my personal thoughts on the abortion issue, I'm pro-abortion rights, but I'm not necessarily pro-abortion? But, that doesn't mean I'll judge anyone for having or not having one. Maybe I'll change my mind after that movie though. Although, I seriously doubt that, cause if for some reason I were faced with that decision, I know it wouldn't be easy. Which would mean that whatever choice I came to would probably be one that I had turned over many times in my head. Either way, I still think it's better to give women the option, because (and apparently the movie addresses a situation like this) the underground alternatives that people could/would try would definitely lead to much worse outcomes than if they could get it taken care of in a safe, sterile, and cared for environment.
Anyways, review to come when I've actually seen it. Whee!
After 16 years of research for this film, it's finally coming out in all its bombastic glory. Or maybe bombastic isn't the right word. From the review in the nytimes (my baby newspaper -- "you should just jack your head into the nytimes," thanks, big brother) it's apparently an incredibly graphic and gruesome (aka potentially realistic?) portrayal of abortion. The critic who reviewed the movie seemed to think that you were supposed to gauge Kaye's personal views on the issue based on how he juxtaposed images, sounds and concepts. I was about to rip into that and say that maybe he wasn't trying to convey a view, but I suppose I really shouldn't since I sit around analyzing texts all the time and purporting to understand the author's "intentions" for their audience through a scene of dialogue. Yay hypocrisy! Regardless, since the film seems to be interview based I am very curious to see how this will be spun, since splicing interviews and people's commentaries can be very touchy.
And as for my personal thoughts on the abortion issue, I'm pro-abortion rights, but I'm not necessarily pro-abortion? But, that doesn't mean I'll judge anyone for having or not having one. Maybe I'll change my mind after that movie though. Although, I seriously doubt that, cause if for some reason I were faced with that decision, I know it wouldn't be easy. Which would mean that whatever choice I came to would probably be one that I had turned over many times in my head. Either way, I still think it's better to give women the option, because (and apparently the movie addresses a situation like this) the underground alternatives that people could/would try would definitely lead to much worse outcomes than if they could get it taken care of in a safe, sterile, and cared for environment.
Anyways, review to come when I've actually seen it. Whee!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Big First Vomitty Post
Okay, so I'm finally sitting down and doing this. I make no promises about consistency or duration, but I'd be willing to bet this will probably have a pretty good run. Disclaimers from the outset: these are all my own views. If they're based in some fact or evidence, I will provide sources to check out. I want that known so no one takes these ideas as "singular truth," it's just what I happen to think at any particular time.
Onwards!
First posting: Randy Pausch and the waterfall of ideas that follows.
I know this is sort of old news (getting off on the wrong foot?!) but the advice Pausch gave in his speech really resonates with me. I seriously recommend that everyone check out his lecture (especially since I don't want to bore you with a laundry list of every piece of advice he gave). Don't be intimidated by the length of the footage. Take some time off from Halo 3 or Gossip Girl or whatever and just watch it. While he makes many brilliant points, there is one he addresses a few times but which is glossed over in pretty much every report I've seen on him.
How you say something is just as important as, or perhaps even more important than, what you're saying.
Color me an English major and all that fun "analysis" stuff, but this is such an important communication concept. It seems to me that people often discount the power of the words that they choose. Not even just the words you choose, but how you phrase it. Let me try to exemplify this through childhood and teenage memory:
Rebellious child that I was, I frequently argued with my Mother. While there were many varied topics, I remember consistently running into one phrase no matter what we were discussing. The conversations would usually proceed as follows.
See: I want to go to (insert event here), you have to let me go!
Momma: You're being rude.
See: No I'm not! You're just not listening to me right!
Momma: It doesn't matter how you think you're saying it, it matters how I'm hearing it.
So, we'll say that at the tender age of 10 I wasn't exactly ready to "hear" the sage advice my Mother was giving, but that phrase which she repeated over and over again stuck with me through the years. As time went by, and I paid more attention to not only my interactions but the interactions of people around me, I started to notice that often times one side was either seriously not listening or *gasp* maybe what the other side was saying just wasn't being conveyed in the right way. This probably became most potent for me when I got into a volcanically large argument with my high school boyfriend, and realized for the first time that I was coming up against the same wall I came against with my Mother... but with someone my own age. I no longer had the fall back of "she's an authoritarian/dictatorial/archaic/crazy" figure who was holding me down. This was someone who cared about me and who should, technically, understand where I was coming from especially since he was a peer.
Totally wrong.
Here's the easy way out: blaming him. He just wasn't understanding. He's just stubborn. He's just a jackass? He just didn't care? Dudes just don't listen.
It's a pretty quick downward spiral, and involves a lot of "justs," which in my opinion is getting close to "never" or "forever" and all those other fun absolutes. None of which are particularly helpful or realistic in the end. After that particularly detrimental argument, I went home and considered what had caused the break down of communication, which is when my Mother's words popped into my head. Was it possible that what he was hearing, and what I was saying, were completely different?
This story has a happy ending (uh, for my own growth, not for the relationship -- and honestly I don't recall the outcome of that argument) but it did come at the cost of swallowing my pride a little. It's always the times that we're trying to defend a point most ardently, or our feelings have been hurt the most, or we just really need the other person to hear us that we forget what we're trying to say can come across really badly. For me, I always know when that feeling hits because I get an uncomfortable heat in my chest that will rise up into my cheeks. That usually spells, "See has something really important and big and loud to say!" Which, now, is when I take a deep breath, count to 10 and seriously reconsider the inappropriate words I'm about to let loose.
It's only when I started thinking about how the other person would want to be approached about a sensitive topic, that I understood how I had to convey my thoughts. That is to say, empathy and sensitivity are important.
Pausch talks about it specifically when he was asking to take his Sabbatical time to work at Disney Imagineering. The first guy he talked to wanted to know more about it and why he was going, but broached it by trying to pressure Pausch into giving more information. He assumed that if he could push Pausch into a corner, he'd get what he wanted to know. Pausch asked both men: "Do you think this is a good idea?"
First guy: "I have no idea if this is a good idea."
Pausch figured that talking to the first man was useless (because he wasn't really listening) and decided to find the Dean of Sponsored Research (or something like that) instead. That guy's response?
Dean of SR: "I don't have very much information. But one of my star faculty members is here and is all excited, so I want to learn more. "
The second response immediately put Pausch at ease, and if you watch the video he expounds on how much he loves the second man. He obviously left a good impression.
Anyways, this post has gotten pretty heavy. All I'm really trying to say, in light of some recent personal experiences, is seriously consider how you're saying what you're saying to someone.
Doing that changed many of my relationships for the better, and the few times that I went lax on it and decided to just say whatever the hell I wanted? Well, let's say that I distinctly remember the times I let myself slip and I still shake my head in shame every time I think about the look on the other person's face.
If you want some more evidentiary support then check out the recent article on Marital Spats in the NYtimes.
"Recent studies show that how often couples fight or what they fight about usually doesn’t matter. Instead, it’s the nuanced interactions between men and women, and how they react to and resolve conflict, that appear to make a meaningful difference in the health of the marriage and the health of the couple."
Too bad my alma mater didn't have a Communications major, I might've really kicked ass at that.
Onwards!
First posting: Randy Pausch and the waterfall of ideas that follows.
I know this is sort of old news (getting off on the wrong foot?!) but the advice Pausch gave in his speech really resonates with me. I seriously recommend that everyone check out his lecture (especially since I don't want to bore you with a laundry list of every piece of advice he gave). Don't be intimidated by the length of the footage. Take some time off from Halo 3 or Gossip Girl or whatever and just watch it. While he makes many brilliant points, there is one he addresses a few times but which is glossed over in pretty much every report I've seen on him.
How you say something is just as important as, or perhaps even more important than, what you're saying.
Color me an English major and all that fun "analysis" stuff, but this is such an important communication concept. It seems to me that people often discount the power of the words that they choose. Not even just the words you choose, but how you phrase it. Let me try to exemplify this through childhood and teenage memory:
Rebellious child that I was, I frequently argued with my Mother. While there were many varied topics, I remember consistently running into one phrase no matter what we were discussing. The conversations would usually proceed as follows.
See: I want to go to (insert event here), you have to let me go!
Momma: You're being rude.
See: No I'm not! You're just not listening to me right!
Momma: It doesn't matter how you think you're saying it, it matters how I'm hearing it.
So, we'll say that at the tender age of 10 I wasn't exactly ready to "hear" the sage advice my Mother was giving, but that phrase which she repeated over and over again stuck with me through the years. As time went by, and I paid more attention to not only my interactions but the interactions of people around me, I started to notice that often times one side was either seriously not listening or *gasp* maybe what the other side was saying just wasn't being conveyed in the right way. This probably became most potent for me when I got into a volcanically large argument with my high school boyfriend, and realized for the first time that I was coming up against the same wall I came against with my Mother... but with someone my own age. I no longer had the fall back of "she's an authoritarian/dictatorial/archaic/crazy" figure who was holding me down. This was someone who cared about me and who should, technically, understand where I was coming from especially since he was a peer.
Totally wrong.
Here's the easy way out: blaming him. He just wasn't understanding. He's just stubborn. He's just a jackass? He just didn't care? Dudes just don't listen.
It's a pretty quick downward spiral, and involves a lot of "justs," which in my opinion is getting close to "never" or "forever" and all those other fun absolutes. None of which are particularly helpful or realistic in the end. After that particularly detrimental argument, I went home and considered what had caused the break down of communication, which is when my Mother's words popped into my head. Was it possible that what he was hearing, and what I was saying, were completely different?
This story has a happy ending (uh, for my own growth, not for the relationship -- and honestly I don't recall the outcome of that argument) but it did come at the cost of swallowing my pride a little. It's always the times that we're trying to defend a point most ardently, or our feelings have been hurt the most, or we just really need the other person to hear us that we forget what we're trying to say can come across really badly. For me, I always know when that feeling hits because I get an uncomfortable heat in my chest that will rise up into my cheeks. That usually spells, "See has something really important and big and loud to say!" Which, now, is when I take a deep breath, count to 10 and seriously reconsider the inappropriate words I'm about to let loose.
It's only when I started thinking about how the other person would want to be approached about a sensitive topic, that I understood how I had to convey my thoughts. That is to say, empathy and sensitivity are important.
Pausch talks about it specifically when he was asking to take his Sabbatical time to work at Disney Imagineering. The first guy he talked to wanted to know more about it and why he was going, but broached it by trying to pressure Pausch into giving more information. He assumed that if he could push Pausch into a corner, he'd get what he wanted to know. Pausch asked both men: "Do you think this is a good idea?"
First guy: "I have no idea if this is a good idea."
Pausch figured that talking to the first man was useless (because he wasn't really listening) and decided to find the Dean of Sponsored Research (or something like that) instead. That guy's response?
Dean of SR: "I don't have very much information. But one of my star faculty members is here and is all excited, so I want to learn more. "
The second response immediately put Pausch at ease, and if you watch the video he expounds on how much he loves the second man. He obviously left a good impression.
Anyways, this post has gotten pretty heavy. All I'm really trying to say, in light of some recent personal experiences, is seriously consider how you're saying what you're saying to someone.
Doing that changed many of my relationships for the better, and the few times that I went lax on it and decided to just say whatever the hell I wanted? Well, let's say that I distinctly remember the times I let myself slip and I still shake my head in shame every time I think about the look on the other person's face.
If you want some more evidentiary support then check out the recent article on Marital Spats in the NYtimes.
"Recent studies show that how often couples fight or what they fight about usually doesn’t matter. Instead, it’s the nuanced interactions between men and women, and how they react to and resolve conflict, that appear to make a meaningful difference in the health of the marriage and the health of the couple."
Too bad my alma mater didn't have a Communications major, I might've really kicked ass at that.
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